Breathe
by SmoothFluffle
Summary: After almost three years of being absent, Tris comes back to the city that once meant everything to her. But she also comes back to the problems she left when she was sent to the clinic. Also, dealing with anxiety and a suicide atempt. For everyone to forgive her, she has to forgive herself first. "Breathe. In. Out. 1. 2. Okay. I'm okay" First story
1. Chapter 1

**AN: please enjoy my very first work! review and tell me what you think.**

_Noise._

That's the first thing on my mind. I open my eyes and the first thing i see is black. No, gray, furry, like a carpet. _¿what is that? _A ceiling, my mind says, _a car ceiling._

So much time has passed since the last time i was on a car, i can't even remember what its ceiling looks like.

"She's alive!" says a voice. _Someone is here._ _If you are in a car, and you are not driving, obviously there's got to be someone here, dumbass. _

And it begins, my innocent, sweet mind versus my snarky, sarcastic, resentful and self-destructing little voice. She's in my head too, if you were wondering.

All is in my head. Everything is in my head. As usual. Or at least that's what everyone keeps telling me. Dr. Wu, the nurses, Jeanine, my dad. _Dad. _I miss him, the real him, not the one that asked me if i was okay every 2 minutes. Not the one that kept my body full of pills. Not the one that locked himself in his office all day, just to come out at night, to see if i had taken my "feel better" pill. Not the one that sent me away. And certainly, not the one that thought his daughter was crazy. _I am not crazy. I am NOT crazy. No. _

_Breathe. In. Out. 1. 2_

_Okay. I'm okay._

"Beatrice?" Right, someone is here. _Caleb. CALEB!_

"Caleb, hi" _That's my voice? Gross._

I sit up, and look at him. Really look at him. It has been 2 years. Almost three.

He's the same. Dark hair, large green eyes, hooked nose, _like dad's,_ kind smile. I missed him too.

"Well, say something. ¿How do I look? ¿How do you feel?" he says.

"Dear brother, you look the same as you did the last time i saw you"

"Seriously?" he says, making a face. "¿i didn't get handsomer? Better looking, stronger, older, _gorgeous_? Honestly, i think your sight has stayed at the clinic. We better go get it back, Bea!"

i know he's trying to make me feel at ease. He's succeding.

"Ha, ha. Funny, I didn't remember you ever being handsome, maybe you where the one that needed mental help. And maybe an ophthalmologist too, because if you saw yourself in the mirror, and thought _that_ was handsome, you really have it bad." I said, laughing.

"Well, good thing you are well enough for the two of us. Seriously though, how are you?" he said, with seriousness in his voice. Well, there goes my ease.

"Umm, I feel fine, weird, awkward, but fine." I did feel awkward, but that was me now. And I did feel fine. Better than i had felt in all the 2 years away.

"That's great, i feel very happy that you are back Beatrice, finally i get to see you again. I wanted to visit, i really did, but-"

"i know, i know. Visits for me where prohibited. I had to get better. I understand Caleb. I don't hold grunges against anyone." 1. That was a lie. I did felt hurt; I didn't understand why my family and friends didn't come to see me. But i got over it, because Dr. Wu told me that isolation was better for me in the process of getting healed. Of forgiving. 2. That was a lie as well. I did hold grudges. But not against him. Against daddy dearest, I did. "I'm just really happy that I can spend all this months at home with you while you are here."

"Errr, about that-"he started guiltily.

"What." I almost barked at him. I do not want surprises.

"I tried to stay longer, but the university is having a major exposition about science. It's like a science fair, but bigger, and they need me. Professor David said that I couldn't miss it; if I did he would fail me. I can't fail Bea! It would ruin me."He said in a rush.

I understand. Caleb has always been the intelligent and science-neurotic in the family. He was always talking about this new invent that he was doing at school, even when he was in elementary. His volcano was the only one that erupted. He has gotten straight A's ever since.

He's always talking about school. He goes to Erudite Faction. A university just for the ultra-intelligent people. The new Scientifics work in there. They have the latest electronic devices used to create new things that supposedly are going to change human life. I guess it does sounds very intellectual for some people but to me it just boring.

"So I'm going to be alone?" Welcome home Tris, party for one!

"¡Of course not! I'm saying that i tried to stay longer, so that means that i am going to stay, but just for 2 weeks. I'm sorry baby sister, but there's nothing i can do. Besides there's Dad and Jeanine. ¡And Christina! Who is dying to see you, ¡and all of your friends!" he says.

Fun! Andrew Prior and the skank are going to be all over me when Caleb is gone.

But I have to admit, I miss my friends. Christina, the perks of your best friend being your neighbor comes handy at these moments. Then there are the Pedrad brothers. Zeke and Uriah. I miss those goofs. I longed to hear the stupid jokes they used to tell me, when I was at the clinic. Will's advices and laughter. Then there is Mar and Shauna. I miss the comfort the girls gived me when I was around them. And Lynn's sarcasm.

Then there is _him. _

Tobias.

_Sigh._

There are a lot of feelings with Tobias. I miss him, more than anyone. He was the one i used to tell everything, how i felt, my worries. And he was there to listen. And to comfort me. _I miss him._

Of course the last six months before i went away i didn't tell him anything. I just couldn't. i showed at his apartment at every hour i wanted and made him have sex with me because that was the only thing that made me feel close to him. I couldn't talk to him. I wanted, but i couldn't. i shut him out. I didn't want to see anyone.

And i feel guilty. Because i shut everyone out. They wanted to help me. And i didn't let them. I just used Tobias. I didn't even answered my friends calls. I didn't let anyone in my room for months. I had to be alone. I had to think. But i couldn't. Because every time i closed my eyes i kept seeing _her_. Talking to me. Or just staring at me. Or i saw her like the last time i laid my eyes on her physical form.

Lifeless. Bloody. Cold. Dead.

In the tub. With her wrist cut open and blood coming out. The water red like her lips. Her eyes dead and cold like her skin, turning slightly blue. Her hair wet and loose, floating in the water. And the razor blade, dripping with her blood, on the floor, looking innocent like i once saw the woman in the bloody water.

I remember walking in the bathroom and just staring at her, thinking ¿what have you done? ¿WHY?. I remember screaming, but i couldn't recognize the owner of the screams, Dr. Wu later told me that i was the one screaming. Tori, Tori. Now i can call her by her name. She said i could see her like a friend but i doubt many people call their psychiatrists to have a drink or to go shopping.

Anyway, once Jeanine heard my screams she entered the bathroom and started screaming as well (if the situation was another one i would have started laughing at the screaming match). Then Dad entered the room and just stood there, looking at the tub in shock, but then reacted, and ordered Jeanine to get me out of there. That was the last time i saw my mother.

Of course later i saw her getting wheeled out of the house by the paramedics, but i didn't saw her face. Just her pale arms. Her wrist still gushing blood out.

And then i saw her coffin getting lower and lower in the dirt. I couldn't stand to be at her funeral. I didn't want people touching me or seeing me, i didn't want them asking me if i was okay when i obviously wasn't. So i stayed in my room. Tobias and Christina often came and nocked at my door, asking me to let them in. But i couldn't. And i didn't.

Then my life came tumbling down.

I had gotten drunk before, with my friends, but that was for fun and at parties.

Back then i got drunk to forget and alone. That was usually the times i went to Tobias'. Then i got up before dawn and i leaved him alone. Without a note. Then i wouldn't answer his calls, or texts. And he respected that i didn't want him coming to my house. He respected my grief and my need for him. He put himself at my need and want. He let himself be used by me.

He really is a nice guy. I don't deserve him. For all i put him through. I hope he has forgiven me for all the times i didn't make it to his apartment and ended up at some stranger's house.

_I really don't deserve him. I love him. I hope he forgives me._

Then, of course was the night everything went to hell.

My life, my relationship, my freedom and my mind.

I just have flashbacks of that night. I remember feeling so tired. So, so tired. Of everything. Of my dad's coldness and ignorance towards me. Of Jeanine's fake (or really not, but i didn't want to love her after all my mom confessed me Jeanine did with my father) loving words. Of Caleb's absence. Of Tobias selfless behavior. Of my friends constant worriness. Of all the amount of anti-depressing pills that went down my throat every night. But most of all, i felt tired of my mom's constant face in my head. I felt sad aswell. I just felt overwhelmed with all the emotions. And i just remember missing my mom so much. _Wouldn't it be better to just be with her and let all the suffering go away? _That inner voice told me.

And so i did. I let everything go away.

That night i filled my parent's tub with as much water as it could hold and got in it. Because i wanted to drown my emotions. I graved a razor blade and slashed it across my wrist over and over and over. Until the water turned crimson red. _Just like my mommy's._

Then i remember feeling like i floated, _it feels so good. Maybe that is why mommy did it. __Yes. _

Then i heard screams (Again. Fucking again).

Then i just saw lights, and bits of my father's face looking very concerned and telling me why. _Oh, Beatrice, why. Why did you do it. Well, maybe if you didn't fuck the house keeper then maybe mom wouldn't have killed herself and neither would have i._

Then i remember cold. Cold, cold, cold. I was outside. It was a chilly night. That kind of night that when you, like me, are not wearing a bra, you can see your nipples against your shirt. And it was kind of embarrassing because my dad was leading me towards an ambulance and i just remember thinking oh no, that guy is going to see my nipples.

Then i remember looking around and found myself staring in Tobias' eyes. His handsome face scrunching up, like when you taste something bitter. I guess if you see your girlfriend being put in an ambulance it would not be a pretty sight. His eyes staring a hole in the clothes around my wrist, hiding my mutilated skin. _Just like my mommy's._

Then i remember staring at the horrified faces of my friends.

Then black.

_Black._

_Black._

_Oh no._

_Again._

_Black._

_Breathe._

_Breathe. In. Out. 1. 2_

_Okay. I'm okay_

Then i saw a face. One i did not reconigze.

"_i'm Tori. Dr. Tori Wu. I will be here with you Beatrice. It will be okay. Okay, you are okay."_

"_Please, call me Tris"_

_Black._

"¿Tris?" i heard Caleb say. Wow! Talk about spacing out.

"We are here" he said.

I look out of the window. Indeed, we are here.

Where it all started.

Where Natalie Prior was found dead in her bathroom.

Where a new Andrew Prior was born, in the same bathroom.

Where my brother Caleb entered and all he saw was a broken family.

And where i, Beatrice Prior, tried to kill myself, in the same bathroom.

The Prior Mansion.

**AN: hello! My name is Ailin. And this is my first time ever, writing something. I found inspiration today when i saw Liz Gillies' movie Killing Daddy (it's really good) and then like 5 hours later this was born. I hope it's kinda good. And excuse my writing, as i said this is my first time writing something and english is not my maternal lenguage.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Welcome Back

**AN at the bottom!**

I look around as we pass the gate.

I forgot that winter was coming, and as a result of it, there is snow covering what used to be dirt and grass.

My neighborhood is for rich people. I will simply put it like that. My dad has worked his ass off during his entire career to give just the best to his family. _Comfort _he said. Well, i did enjoy not having to worry of how much my shoes coasted, or how much money my credit card had. It was comfortable.

When you look at the houses the only thing that you could think or say was _wow._

Every house has a wide space between each other, and they literally have a small forest surrounding the house. My house has a large driveway, a long line full of trees on the side on the way to the front of the house; you kind of have a small tour while you get to the door.

The trees look even better covered in thick snow, it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, when they painted the roses red, but now it looks like they painted the trees with white. It looks beautiful, homey, _comforting._

And when you get to the front door, it's a lot of _wow._

My house is a 2 story mansion, with wide windows and large, tall pillars, supporting the structure of it. White fancy walls with a shiny, mahogany door, making the mansion look baronial. _Beautiful._

I step out of the car and look around, my eyes landing on another white house, that stands far enough for me to see just the top of it, but not so far that i only _see_ _white walls. _That house belongs to Christina, my best friend Christina, or at least the best friend i left a few years ago. Maybe she has another best friend or maybe she moved out, and that house that i grew to love belongs to a stranger, and i will never get to see the spacious inside of it. _I hope not. Maybe she just hated you and new you would eventually get back and didn't want to see your friend-ignoring self. I hope not._

I look back at the house i was born into. So many memories…..

"Why don't you get inside? I'll get your bags; you go and get familiarized with the house. Be friends again, Bea!" Caleb says entuciastally.

I didn't get time to respond because the moment i opened my mouth a scream was heard and a face appeared on the window. _Jeanine. _

"OH MY GOD! Tris! You are back!" her voice still sounded even when she disappeared behind the walls to get to the door. The door was thrown open and she came running towards me, well, more like skipping towards me.

"Oh darling, look at you. You look beautiful! Your hair is longer, you gained weight! Trissy!" she squealed, hugging me. Hey! I_ gained weight? Is she calling me fat?!_

"Hey Jeanine." I said awkwardly, returning the hug. She took care of me since i was little, she practically raised me! I did miss her. _But you know…_

She took my face in her hands and just stared at me. I guess she was checking if my eyes didn't scream crazy. _Not crazy. _Then her eyes started to swim with tears. _Oh for Christ sake, do not cry!_

"My little girl. I'm so happy you are back!" she said tearfully.

"Oh, Jeanine! Please do not cry." I said kind of whining. I heard Caleb laughing somewhere behind me. _The bastard._

"You are right. Oh! Do not mind me, sweetie, this is a happy day! You are back and i have no reason to cry. Come inside! See your house! I will cook you something special. What do you want? Pizza? Cake? _Dauntless Cake?_" she said. Damnit. She had me there.

I guess she could see the hungry look in my eyes the moment she said dauntless cake because she got this enormously grin in her face and starting nodding to me.

"I guess Dauntless Cake would not be so bad" i said.

"Okay! I will begin to make it right this moment." She said entering the house with me in her arms. "Well, i will be in the kitchen, why don't you go to your room and make yourself at home, unpack your things and relax. When you are ready to come down i will be expecting you with a huge slice of that cake of yours." She said, turning around to go in the kitchen.

"Jeanine, where is dad?" i asked her carefully.

"Oh. Your dad couldn't get home to receive you, beautiful, but he will be back around lunch or dinner." She said sadly. Figures he would be too busy to see me get back.

"Okay. I will be in my room." I said shortly.

"I'll take your bags, Bea." Said Caleb.

I nodded and smiled at Jeanine while I and Caleb started to walk upstairs. She smiled back at me and went to do the cake.

The second floor of my house had all the bedrooms. My Dad's was the first door to the left, spacious and with a huge in-door bathroom so big it could hold 50 people inside. _The bathroom. Note to self: avoid that bathroom until i feel comfortable enough in here._ Then there was a space, and there was the "relaxing room". Mom used that room a lot. _Other note to self: avoid that room too. Or explore. But first avoid._

Then another space and there was Caleb's old room. Or just Caleb's room. I mean, it was still his, even though he lived in an apartment close to his university. But at times like this he would be back and stay with us, so that was his room.

Then there where guest rooms. Spacious as well. Like three of them. One of those rooms was reserved for Grams when she came to visit. I should call her. Tell her i am back. _Later._

Then at the end, there it was. My bedroom. My own personal relaxing room. My cave.

I stood a good minute just staring at it with Caleb staring weirdly at me. Then i opened the door.

It was _clean._ That was the first thing i observed. Nothing like the mess i lived in 6 months previous to my departure. It smelled of vanilla and hazelnut. My candles! Jeanine must have light them on. I look at my vanity table and sure, there they are. My pictures are standing there too, in their photo frame. I go and look at them, while Caleb drops the bags on my bed.

There is one of Caleb and i, when we were little. I smile, and look at it. I was like, 6 and he was 8. He was holding me by the waist while i tried to get away. We were dressed in winter clothes. I notice that snow is covering the ground in the photo. _Winter._ We are laughing, smiling, _happy._

The next one is of Jeanine and i, she was braiding my hair and smiling at me. I had a pout on my lips. _Haha. _I remember this day. Christina had invited me to her pool and i wanted to wear my _purple_ bikini. But no, it had to be the blue one because the other was dirty.

The next one is of me and Tobias. We aren't looking at the camera. We are focused on getting cake in each other's face. He is holding me with a hand on my lower back and my legs are wrapped around his waist. We have a face full of Dauntless Cake. We are laughing. _Happy. _I think we were 15, we weren't together then. But we were getting there. Or that is what Christina said back then. She was not wrong. Like 2 months later he asked me out and i said yes.

The other pictures are of me and my friends, me alone, or me and Caleb. Just 2 with Dad. But i notice something.

_None with her._

Right, i broke all my photos with her, because i didn't want to see her face anymore. But i did see her, in my mind. Dead.

_Hey, breathe._

_Right._

I look around and see Caleb looking at the photos with a smile before locking eyes with me.

"I'm really happy you are back, baby sister" he says softly with a smile.

"I'm really happy to be back too." I say. He smiles tearfully at me and wraps his arms around me. I breathe him in; his scent was always comforting to me. Of lemon and perfume. I love his smell.

"I'm going downstairs to see if Jeanine needs help with anything, yeah?" he says against my hair. He unwraps his arms from me and kisses my forehead.

"I love you, Baby Bea." He whispers to me, before smiling and leaving my room.

"I love you too" i whisper to myself, because i know he can't hear me anymore.

I look around the room again. _Where to start. _My clothes, right. I open my suitcase and start getting my clothes out, folding them and putting them on a pile beside my bag. I finish my first suitcase and put it down the floor. _I need to put it on the top shelf of the closet, then my first drawer is for my underwear, the second one, let's put jeans in there-._

_Riiing. _

The phone rings. Eh, Jeanine will probably get it. I guess i'm right because it stops ringing.

I grab the first pile of clothes, jeans. _Second drawer._

"BEATRICE?" i hear Jeanine scream.

"WHAT?" i scream back. Mmm, so long since i screamed. My throat feels achy.

"Answer the phone dear, it's for you!" i hear her say.

_For me? Who the hell is it? Nobody knows I'm back yet. Right?_

"Hello?" i say into the phone.

"Beatrice, darling" the man says. I know that voice.

"_Dad?"_

**AN: DUN, DUN, DUN. Soo, how was that?! Thank you all who reviewed my story.**

**For the person who asked why my ¿¡, I DON'T KNOW! I keep writing and my computer just marks my sentence as wrong and i don't know what the hell does it wants. It doesn't even give me a suggestion. So it only went away if i put those things in there. Sorry if it looks extrange! Now, everybody is going to be the same age in this story. Except Caleb, he's the only one that is 2 years older.**

**So Tris is about to turn 20. She went to the clinic when she was in her mid- 17's.**

**Everybody else is already 20 or about to turn 20 as well.**

**Also, Tris is not crazy guys. She just has like flash backs, of when she **_**was**_** kind of crazy. When she starts talking to herself, like "Breathe, 1, 2" and all that, it's like her coping mechanism, she learned that from Tori. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: HEEEEEYYYY! I hope everybody had a great Christmas and had lots and lots of food. I know i did. Thank you all that reviewed and favorited/followed this story. On with it!**

**Please read the AN at the bottom. ****Happy reading.**

"_Dad?"_

"Yes honey, it's me." He said. "I just called to hear your voice, you know, to hear that you arrived safely to the house."

"Uhh, yes Dad, everything is fine; I'm actually unpacking right now." I said.

"Oh! That's good to hear, dear. " he said.

…_.._

_Silence._

"So, uh, how was the ride back home?" My dad asked.

"i cannot tell you because i fell asleep as soon as me and Caleb got in the car" i said.

"Hahaha! Same as always, Bumble Bea." He said, with his roaring laugh. "You know i really missed you sweetie."

"oh, uh, i really missed you too, Dad." I said.

"Well,-" he said clearing his throat, "i have to get back to work, but i believe that i should be done in a few hours, so I'll see you at dinner, Dear."

"Uh, sure Daddy. I wouldn't want to keep you from doing your job." I said.

"Of course you don't. Well, I'm really glad to hear that both of my children made it safely back home. I'll see you at dinner, Bumble Bea." He said.

"Yes, Dad. Bye." I said hanging up.

Well, that was an interesting phone call. I don't know how to feel about it. One side of me is just dying to run back and hug my daddy once he arrives home, i did miss him, but the other side of me can't forget that he cheated on my mom, couldn't handle her death and ignored me for 6 months and that it took a suicide attempt for him to notice i was in grieve too, to notice i was _hurting _just as bad as him. Also i cannot forget that he sent me away, i know that i needed help, but sending me to frontier of the city didn't help. I needed my dad and he wasn't there.

_What to do, what to do, Trissy._

I decide to leave those thoughts alone for a while, i mean, he _is _coming back until dinner, and get back to unpacking.

_Man, how much crap do i have? God! Why did i had so much stuff with me! __DAMNIT!_

Once i unpacked all of my shit, like finally _all of it_, i decide to go downstairs and see what those two are doing. _Probably talking about the last episode of Grey's Anatomy or something._

I walk downstairs and look at the clock hanging on the wall. _12:46. Seriously? _I thought i had been a day up there.

"Yeah, i just remember you running around with that microscope and trying to put anything in it to see it. You even tried to grab a dead grasshopper!" Jeanine said laughing. _So no Grey's Anatomy. They are opening the childhood chest._

"Hey, Bea! We were just remembering our favorite Christmas toys, mine was that blue microscope that Dad got me, remember?" Caleb said.

"How could i forget the when you were the most annoying! Thank god that thing broke before you tried to put a squirrel in it!" i said.

"Tris! I have your cake in the fridge, waiting for you. Did you unpack everything? Did you settle in?" Jeanine said, while taking my cake slice from the fridge. _Dauntless cake. Yummy._

"Yes, everything is unpacked. I wanted to ask you though, both of you; do i still have a phone? I don't remember leaving it somewhere before i left, so i don't even know if my phone still exists" i said.

"Oh! Yes, dear. It's in your father's office. I found it while i was cleaning your room like a year ago. Your dad put in there, but i don't know if it has any battery, or if it works, after all, it has been almost three years." Jeanine said, the last part with a bit of remorse. _Believe me when i say i know how much time has passed._

"Well, I'll check it later. Now, where were we?" i said.

"We were in the part when i give you your favorite food in the world" she said happily.

"And then you devour it like the animal you are" Caleb said.

"Caleb! Leave your sister alone, besides she can eat all she wants and she never gets fat, so she doesn't have to worry about anything. You can have the entire thing if you want, dear!" Jeanine said.

"Unlike you, that you have to go to the gym to prevent yourself from getting fat. But i think you skipped a few days because i can see a few back rolls in there brother" i said laughing and stuffing my face with dauntless cake. _One of my many talents, speaking, laughing and eating at the same time. _

"BACK ROLLS?" Caleb said making a face.

"Children, play nice. Beatrice, what did you father say, dear? If you don't mind me asking" Jeanine said.

"Umm, he wanted to check that we got here safe and that i was settling in, and that he will see us at dinner" i said.

"Yes, your Dad was really sad that he couldn't make it here on time. All he talked about all week was about you coming home, he's really excited that your back." Jeanine said.

"Yeah, i know."

I still haven't decided how to feel about Jeanine either. How do you threat the woman who saw you grow up and raised you while she sleeps with your father? _Somebody should write a book about it. I could use one right now._

_I need someone to voice my thoughts to._

_Or something…_

"I think I'm going to check that phone of mines, yeah?" i said getting up from the table.

"Yes, dear. Do what you have to do, just call me if you need anything," Jeanine says.

"Okay" i say simply. Smiling at Caleb i turn around and go to my father's office.

I open the heavy door and find myself squinting my eyes.

_Wow._

Even at noon, this room is dark enough to make the furniture in it just outlinings in my view.

_Jesus, where are the lights here?_

I touch the wall while patting it, hoping to find the interrupter before my eyes explode out of their sockets.

_Aha!_

I push the thing and the room explodes with light, making it clear to my eyes.

My dad's office is everything a lawyer's office should be. Large, with a huge desk with tons of drawers to keep a bunch of papers, floor to ceiling book shelves, a chandelier hanging right on top of the desk for late night investigations and a corner table containing a variety of alcohol to relieve the stress. _I could use some whisky right now…. Better not._

I sit in my dad's chair with a little _ah_ escaping from my lips. This chair is awesome; i need one for my room. I open the first drawer of the desk and i see _gasp! _Papers! Didn't see that coming! I take a grab the first file and read it. This case was about a drunk guy getting into some fight and the police arresting him, then punching the police man in the face and running. _Hahah, funny._i read some more cases and decide that my dad's job bores me. _Definetly not going to law school. Sorry dad. _

I open the second drawer and see more papers, but less than the first one, i stick my hand further but i only feel papers. _No phone. Next. _I open the third drawer and see more papers. _Ugh! Can't he leave his work in his office? Well, this is his office, but he doesn't work here, so..._

I open the fourth drawer and finally stop seeing papers. There are some keys, a few pencils and a box. I open it and find a gun. _Why would Andrew Prior need a gun? Has something happened here that I'm not aware of? Maybe is just protection. _I still find it weird though. I close the box and put it back inside the drawer, not before noticing something at the bottom of it. _Hello, Tris' phone. _I put the box inside and grab my iPhone.

I press the button and wait to see if it turns on. It doesn't. i have to find its charger. _Damn, when was the last time i used that thing and where did i left it?!_

I stand up and leave my dad's office. I go upstairs and into my room. _Let's find that charger._

I look into my vanity table's drawers and find make up, brushes, nail polish, a small mirror and … condoms.

I laugh.

_It has been so long since i had sex. And good sex for that matter. T__he last time being with Tobias._

_I miss him. God i miss him so much._

I wonder how he is doing. Is he good? Does he even live here anymore? Did he meet anyone? Have i been replaced? _God i hope not._

What we had was great, everything i could want for the rest of my life.

We were each other's best friend, we told everything to each other, we had mind blowing sex, we had the same friends, etc. he is everything i could have wanted. _Everything i still want._

_God, I'm so selfish for wanting this, but i hope he hasn't met anyone. I hope he hasn't stopped thinking about me like i never did._

_DING_

I hear the doorbell ring.

Who could be at the door? _Well it's not like you've lived here for the last three years. Jeanine could have moved on from your dad and she might have gotten herself a new boyfriend!_

Suddenly i hear footsteps outside the hallway, then a knock at my door and then a person comes into the room.

_Christina._

She looks… different. Her dark hair is now a little past her shoulders, curling a bit in the ends, she looks curvier, if that's possible, like when a person gains a few pounds and then loses them but gets curvy, her dark skin still looking creamy, but that's not what's different.

Her eyes are.

Her eyes swim with different emotions: sadness, anger, love, disbelieve, fear, anxiety and hope.

"Well, are you going to stand there gaping me like a gold fish or are you going to hug me?" she snaps at me, at the same time her eyes star to swim with tears.

I now realize that my mouth is hanging open, _like a gold fish,_ and that my eyes are as big as her ass. _Huge._

I run to her and almost nock her down in the process to wrap my arms around her.

"God, Christina" i sob in her shoulder. _I missed my best friend._

She hugs me hard and starts crying hard as well.

"I missed you so much. I thought i would never see you again" she cried against my ear. She untangles herself from me and holds me at arm's length. "God, look at you, you look amazing."

"I know" i said, whipping my nose with my hand.

"Glad to know you didn't lose the sass" she says laughing. She looks me over and then just stares at me. Then she smiles. Then she stops smiling.

Then she smacks me. Hard.

"Jesus, Tis! You have any idea what you put me through? When i saw you getting out with your arms all bloody and looking as disoriented as you looked that time we woke up at the lake after Uriah's 17 party i knew you had gone to the extreme! Do you know how you made me feel those months before you did what you know you did? I felt like the worst best friend ever! What kind of best friend can't be help her best friend at a time like that!" she shouts at me.

I can't keep up with her ranting because _she smacked me. She fucking smacked me!_

"CHRISTINA!" i shout at her cupping my pulsing cheek.

"Oh, get over yourself! You used to take more beatings from Lynn! Besides that is not the point! How could you do this to yourself?" she said.

"I don't know, Christina. I just, i don't know." I said, sitting down the bed.

"Well, who does know! Tell me, because i want to know." She said sitting down the bed and facing me.

"I don't know! Okay, i just had to end my pain. I couldn't handle all that was happening around me. I couldn't see-, _her_ face all the time. I couldn't." i said. _Hey? Breathe._

"But that is where i come in, Tris! I was your best friend! I was supposed to take care of you and help you out. But you didn't let me in." She said, her voice cracking at the last part.

"…. Was?" i ask.

_Sniff. Sniff. _"What? What was what?" she asks.

"You said you where my best friend. So…. We.. are… not best friends anymore?" i ask carefully.

She just stares at me and for a second i want to put my arms around my face because I'm almost sure she's going to smack me again but then she laughs. _She laughs._

"What?" i ask confused. _Where's the joke in that?_

"Oh, Trissy bear. You can be so dumb sometimes." She says, coming down from her high.

"Dumb?" i repeat.

"Yes. Of course we are still best friends!" she exclaims throwing her arms up. "But, i want you to understand that i never want you to feel that you can't rely on me. I'm here all the time for you, yes?" she says

"Yes." I say.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses my hair.

"Sisters for life, okay?"

"Okay."

**AN: i couldn't resist to put that at the end. I love the TFIOS. Also, i know a lot of you wanted the "gang" to not talk to Tris, but i couldn't separate Christina and Tris! I love their friendship. Also I'm sorry if the dialogue is very vague but it is 3 am and i am a bit drunk so my mind isn't working well. Also i did something with the numbers. 12:**_**46 **_**and the **_**fourth**_** drawer.**

**Prepare yourself to a lot of Fourtris next chapter because i finally introduce the famous lover boy. We have a twist in the chapter and a lot of hurt and flirt. Because you know, I'm so cliché and you know what chapter is next?**

_**4.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Please read the AN at the bottom. Thanks for reading. This chapter is cliché af.**

Christina stayed a few hours after our reunion; she gave me a new charger for my phone.

"_i have like 6, that thing breaks as easily as you swallow happy pills. Sorry, too soon?"_

She told me all the gossip and things i missed while i was gone. She told me how Zeke and Shauna had a pregnancy scare and that everybody had been on edge because of it. I wish i had been here for Shauna, i know what it feels when you have a problem and you feel like you are drowning, i could have helped her. But the past is in the past…

Also she told me everything that Tobias had done, if he had dated anyone and stuff like that. _Juicy gossip._ And to my surprise (not really, i mean, he _does_ look like a Greek god.) he _did_ had something to do with someone, but not for long because she was a skank and Tobias realized how much of a bitch she was. Her name is Nita and let's say i had met her before. She was one of many girls that were after Tobias but i knew they didn't stand a chance to me, he made sure to tell me that every time and i felt confident about it. _I can only imagine all the shit that went to her head once he looked at her. Good god thank you for letting me be back, i promise i will start running things like they used to once i get back on track._

Christina said that their _fling_ was a physical thing, that it was obvious that it was a rebound for him. _But still, he laid his hands on another girl's body. And on Nita of all people!_

Chrissy prissy also said that she acted like she ran the gang and that she tried to give orders to the girls, because as i said before, she is a skank and she doesn't get on the boys bad side. I reminded Christina who's the boss here.

"_No. I run this gang." I said pointing to myself_

She laughed and said that i better remind everybody that i am queen of everything_. Which i am, and i will remind everyone who is the original princess of Chicago._

After she left i went back to my room and saw my phone was fully charged. I had a bunch of stuff there, i decided that i liked my phone and that i wouldn't change it. I had photos of my precious baby angels (Uriah, Zeke, Will and Tobias. My dogs) and of my plastics (the girls) in our happier moments. Also i have my music.

I was listening Shoot to Thrill when my door opened. _Oh. How long was Christina here?_

"Hey!" i said waving.

"Honey, it is so good to see you. You look awesome!" my dad said while patting my cheeks. _He just made awesome sound totally not awesome._

"Thanks daddy. Is it dinner time already?" i asked

"Almost, yes. Did you eat? Remember you have to eat all of your foods and that skipping lunch is very bad. Yeah? So did you eat?" he said. _Shit. I didn't have lunch. _My steak was resting untouched on my night table, i forgot to eat it while i was chatting with Christina.

"Eh, yeah. I did. It was delicious but Jeanine never disappoints so that isn't really a surprise." I lied.

"No, she never does. Caring woman she is isn't she?" he said. _I don't have any interest in discussing my possible next mom._

"Yeah, yeah. So listen, i was getting ready to go downstairs. I just have to use the bathroom. I'll meet you in the dining room, yes?" i said.

"Oh, of course Beatrice. No problem. Do your thing, honey. I'll see you in a moment." He said. "I love you, you know? I'm glad to have you back. And put that food in the fridge. Don't waste it" he said before closing the door.

_Busted._

I grabbed a hair brush and untangled my hair. I want to do something to it. To feel Tris again.

I went downstairs and found everyone already seated.

"Hello, dear. How was your reunion with Christina?" asked Jeanine.

"It went really well. It was good to see her. I missed her." I said.

"I'm glad to hear that you are already fitting back in. but we have to talk about that plate full of food upstairs" said my dad pointing his fork to me.

"Uh, i was going to eat it but i got carried up talking with Christina and forgot it was even there. "i said.

"Beatrice! You didn't eat?" said a gasping Jeanine. _Reactions are Jeanine's thing._

"Bea, you have to eat. Didn't you feel your stomach rumbling?" said Caleb.

"It's for your wellbeing, baby. Remember that you have to be okay, and not eating it's a bad road to it." My dad said. _God not the fucking talk._

"You told me you would eat it, darling. Are you feeling okay?" Jeanine asked.

"Yes, Jeanine. I'm okay. I did wanted to eat it but i _forgot._ Okay? You sometimes forget to eat when you are working." I said the last part to my dad.

"Yes, Beatrice. But i was not at the bridge of anorexia." My dad said

"Andrew!" gasped Jeanine. _Gasp! _

"I'm eating! Okay? Look!" i said, stuffing a spoonful of mashed potatoes in my mouth. "I do get hungry, okay? I do feel. This time i do feel when my body asks for food, Dad. And i know you are concerned for me, but i am not going back. I am not going back to self-depravation. And i am not going back to being unstable. I'm okay. Really. I'm okay." I said. _I'm fucking okay._

Everybody was quiet after that.

"Well, i think that if you believe in yourself; if you believe that you are okay, then you are okay." Said Caleb. _Super brother to my rescue._

"i am." I said looking at my Dad "I am."

"Well, that went well." Sarcastically said Caleb.

"Yeah. Best dinner ever."

After a very awkward dinner, me and Caleb came back to my room. He and Jeanine tried to save the evening but unfortunately the atmosphere between my dad and i was tense. So no good dinner.

"You have to understand that he is worried about you. He only wants you to be okay." Caleb said with a concerned look.

"i know that Caleb, but it gets annoying trying to prove yourself to Dad. He's tiring." I said laying down on the bed.

"I know, sweet baby Bea" he said cuddling me on the bed. "But you have to eat or Caleb bear will come and tickle you until you burst" he said in a baby voice. _What the fuck._

"Caleb, you are fucking crazy." I said laughing.

"Shut up, you know you love me." He said smiling smuggly. "Say i'm the best brother ever"

"What? No."

"Say it."

"It."

"This is your last time baby Bea, say I'm the best brother ever"

I just closed my eyes with a smile on my face.

Next thing i know my ribs hurt.

_He's tickling me._

_Caleb is tickling me._

_What the fuck!_

"Stop! Caleb" i said screaming.

"SAY IT!" he said while he tickled me viciously

"YOU ARE THE BEST FUCKING BROTHER EVER!" i screamed at the top of my lungs.

Suddenly he stopped and sat up in the bed.

"was that so hard?" he said simply

"You know, i really hate you sometimes."

**Tobias' POV**

I got out of my car and started walking the long path to the door. I needed time to think.

_What am i going to tell her?_

_Will she be okay?_

_Is she going to ignore me? Or will she act like nothing ever happened?_

_Will she even be awake? I mean, it's like 8 o'clock._

_But-_

_Wait._

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at the figure between the trees. _What the actual fuck?_

I walked towards the girl with long blond ombre hair, dressed in white cotton short shorts, a dark blue sweater and brown ugg boots. _It's winter. Is she a polar bear and i am not aware of it? She's going to freeze!_

I saw smoke coming out in breaths. _That better be her breath and not what I'm thinking._

"You know" i said startling her. "If you die of hypothermia many people will be sad"

She stared at me for a few seconds, taking me in, and then she put the cigarette in her mouth and toke a long pull of it, the exhaled, never taking her eyes of mine.

"Will you miss me?" she asked

"I always miss you Tris."

"…. Good." She said with a little smirk.

I graped my fingers on her elbow, slowly sliding them until i touched the palm of her hand, then i took her cigarette and put it in my mouth. I took a long pull and exhaled.

Then i put it in between her pouty lips.

We both stood in silence looking at the snow for long minutes.

"How did you know i was back?" she finally asked. She still didn't look at me.

"I always know where you are"

"Don't smartass me, how did you know i was back?" she repeted, finally looking at me with _those _eyes.

"Fine, Christina might have called me and told me that your brother told her that you were back. I wanted to come and see if it was true." I said. _I had to see her._

She smiled and then went back to look at the snow covered ground.

"Are you okay?" i asked.

"God, not _you too" _she groaned.

"Okay! Are you _all right? How are you? Do you find yourself fine?" _

"Tobias, i find myself mighty fine" she said laughing. _God, so long since i heard it._

"It has been a while since i heard your laugh" i said smiling at her.

She smiled and looked at me with excitement swimming in her eyes. _ M__y fire ckracker._

"I'm okay now" she said.

"I'm glad, Doll"

She took another pull on her cigarette and dropped it on the snow.

"So, how are things now? I mean, with you. What have you done?" she asked me

"Well, i have more money now, Dad's company has leaved me a handful of shit to do but it pays my bills and more. I still live in the Montenegro building, i got a dog and i am not dating anyone" i said.

"Oh, i uhm, i wasn't interested in that, i just wanted to ask what you were up to, because, you know, i wasn't around, and i- yeah." She said lamely.

"Tris, i know you. I know you better than anyone and i know the first thing Christina told you about me was about Nita"

"Well, if it helps you sleep at night, then yes, i asked Christina about your dating life."

"Yes, well, it didn't last long. It was just-"

"Tobias, i do not want to hear about your dick buried in that whore's cunt. Talk to me about something else"

"Okay. Eh-"

"You said you got a dog." She said. I could literally see her annoyance with the Nita topic.

"Yes, he's a bulldog named Sir Charles."

"_Sir Charles?" _she asked with an incredulous face.

"Don't ask. Uriah was involved." I said as an explanation

"Of course he was. Speaking about the Monkey Man, how are the guys doing?" she asked

"They are doing fine, they uh, weren't happy when you left. Uriah and Christina took it the hardest. But they recovered, we went through a few things but we managed." I said.

I watched as her face took an unmistakable look of guilt, and could only imagine what was going through her mind. _It was kind of her fault. We didn't ask for her to try to drown herself. __Stop. No._

She shivered and then i remembered that we were in the middle of the snow and that she was barely covered. _That red nose must have said that she was cold. _I took off my leather jacket and put it on her shoulders.

"Thanks. I was beginning to think that my nipples were going to turn into rocks" she said while she put her arms through the jacket.

"Wouldn't be the first time i saw it"

"Wipe that cheeky smirk of your face" she said while trying to hide her own smile.

"Seriously though, those are like the latest sensibility sensors. With the minimum amount of heat or cold they turn into hulk."

"I would really appreciate if you stopped talking about my lady parts."

"I know everything about your lady parts. I could go on for hours, sugar." I said. _Got to love the teasing._

"Stop!" she said, hiding her face behind her hands.

"Why? Am i making you blush?" i said laughing.

"Seriously, i will leave." She said with as much seriousness her red tainted cheeks permitted her to show.

"Fine then. Go" i said.

"Fine." She said turning around and heading towards the house.

"Wow. Where is the Tris that could take a few poundings? Oh, pun in there" i teased her all the way to the steps of the door.

Just before she went all the way up i grabbed her arm. She turned around and stared at me confused. _With those eyes. Sweet Jesus she's going to be the death of me._

"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" i asked with as much seriousness i could muster up.

She surprised me when she slide her fingers through mine and invaded my personal space.

"Of course, how rude of me." She whispered. She puckered her pouty red lips and put them so close to mine, almost brushing my lips with hers. Then she moved her mouth and rested her lips on the corner of mine. I swear my heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. And by the way her chest raised and fell against mine she couldn't either.

She stepped away from me and i saw that thing that drove me crazy all these years. _Mischief. _I also noted desire and fire dancing in her eyes.

"i look forward to seeing your handsome face around here, Sir Eaton." She said seriously.

"I'll see you later, Angel eyes".

**AN: There you have my cliché chapter 4th, updated January 4th with 4's POV.**

**I want to get this off my chest:**

**I know that this is my first story and that i should be grateful of the people who encourage this story (i am, thank you guys, you have no idea how much it means to me) but i seriously want to hear more of your thoughts on it. This story has 567 views and only 11 reviews, 11 followers and 5 favorites. It gets me down and i do not why, seriously please if you read my story i would really like to hear your thoughts about it. I don't know when i will publish the next chapter because i don't feel like writing it, really and i don't want to be like those authors that ask for reviews for the next chapter but it would be nice to see that you are not writing for 556 ghosts. Thank you again for all the people who have Reviewed/Favorited/Followed. I would really like to hear ideas for the next chapter. School starts in a month and my mom is going back to work this Wednesday so I'll have time to write, hopefully. **

**Thank you babies:***


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hello! I am so sorry i took forever to update but i didn't have any inspiration. I still don't have so these next chapters will be just flashbacks, previous to Tris' return, until inspiration hits me. It will contain her childhood, teenager years, mentioned moments captured in pictures and stuff like that. Enjoy!**

_4 year old Tris._

"_Stop it! You monster!"_

_I was running full speed around the backyard trying to dodge Caleb's huge water gun. It was summer so Jeanine said that she would take us out and that we could get in the pool! She said that we should keep our voices down because mommy isn't feeling so well. Mommy doesn't play with us anymore, she used to come out of her sleepy room and play with my dolls, but she doesn't want to anymore. She doesn't come out of her and daddy's bedroom either. Jeanine says she is sick and that she doesn't want her little germs to make us sick too._

"_Come on! Don't be such a baby!" Caleb said while furiously squirting water at me. _

"_Stop it! It hurts!" _

"_Caleb! Darling, her body is smaller than yours! It hurts her" Jeanine said from her place in the lounging chair._

"_No! It doesn't, she's just acting like a baby!" He said, lowering the gun._

"_She __**is**__ a baby, Caleb" Jeanine said, while coming towards me. "If you are going to play rough on her, I'm going to have to cancel this playdate."_

"_NO!" Caleb and i screamed at the same time. It wasn't fair! I wanted to swim in the pool with Dotty the duck! _

"_i don't want to go back inside Jeanine!" i said while crossing my arms. I had seen Daddy do that when he was trying to ground Caleb. _

"_Me neither, Jeanine"_

"_Well, then. Do we agree on not squirting water at your sister, Caleb?"_

"_Yes." He mumbled._

"_Okay, then say "I'm sorry sister" and give her a hug" _

"_I'm sorry sister for hitting you hard with my water gun" He said. Then he put the gun on the grass and gave me a hug._

"_Aww, see? You look cute when you get along, kids" Jeanine said._

"_I don't want to be cute with her." He said while untangling himself from me. I felt a tug at my hair and my scalp throbbed._

"_Oww! Jeanine, Caleb pulled my braid and it hurt!"_

"_CALEB!"_

* * *

><p><em>14 year old Tris<em>

"_Are you sure? Christina giggled in her phone._

"_Can you hang up now, so i can enjoy my time with you?" _

"_Wait! I'm having gossip report; I'll tell you everything once I'm done."_

_We were at her backyard, being lazy in the pool. _

_I hope her phone falls into the water and explodes._

"_HAHA! Oh, i wish i had seen that. Uh, hey, listen i got to go… yeah, she's giving me the look of doom…. Hahaha, no…. Yeah, i'll tell her….yeah, you tell the bucking squad to get everything ready and i buy the chips… okay. Bye" _

"_Marlene says to suck your tit the next time we are talking, to keep your mouth entertained."_

"_I would rather suck hers."_

"_Ew, you tell her that tonight." _

"_So we are getting the chips?"_

"_Yeah, Uriah said to buy the color ones, but they taste weird."_

"_So, no color chips. What else?"_

"_Erm, i think we should do a list"_

"_And call Marlene again to repeat everything she told you to get and that you forgot"_

"_Right."_

…_.._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey, just to tell you that i rather suck yours."_

* * *

><p><em>16 year old Tris<em>

"_I'm scared."_

"_Shut up, you are going to blow our cover"_

"_I'm going to pee"_

"_Uriah, please"_

"_I'm serious. I drank the whole bottle and i can't hold it any longer. I don't want to be found with wet pants."_

"_Wouldn't be the first time. Now shut up"_

…_._

"_Tris?"_

…

"_Tris!"_

"_if you don't stop talking I'm going to rip your tongue and shove it so far up your ass, that you are going to taste lunch."_

"_You are so mean."_

"_Go pee in the bush, Uri."_

"_I'll do that."_

…

"_I FOUND URIAH!"_

"_WAIT!"_

…

"_God, why" i whispered to myself._

"_I peed myself!"_

"_EW! I thought your leg was covered in sweat!"_

"_Want to see how long my hose is?"_

* * *

><p><em>15 year old Tris<em>

"_He says he just wasn't into her anymore"_

"_You and i know that Zeke is never into anyone that way. He just wants to bang girls, he's not looking for a relationship. That's why he breaks things with them before they ask him to take them out"_

"_He has a two week mark"_

"_I know, me and Chris keep count."_

"_You do?"_

"_Yeah."_

…

"_Can i ask you something?"_

"_You just did"_

"_Don't smartass me, little girl"_

"_If you call me that one more time I'll slap you. Besides, I'm your age"_

"_You don't look like me."_

"_Thanks for pointing out the obvious"_

"_No, seriously. Can i ask you something?"_

"_Tobi-"_

"_Shush. You are ruining it"_

"_Get your filthy finger out of my mouth."_

"_Should i replace it with something big-"_

"_OW! Okay, sorry."_

…

"_Did i hurt you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Let me see"_

"_Ow!"_

"_I'm sorry, oh my god you are bleeding."_

"_Yeah, well, biting fingers will do that. Mostly if you have rat teeth."_

"_I will bite the other one."_

"_Kiss it better."_

…_._

"_There?"_

"…_Yeah. I will live"_

…_.._

"_I didn't think you would actually kiss me."_

"_Well, an eye for an eye. Or a finger for lips"_

"_Do you want to go out with me?"_

"_That's what has been eating you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes."_

…

"_Can i have more lip action?"_

* * *

><p><em>17 year old Tris<em>

"_Oh, god. Move!"_

"_Chris?"_

"_No, it's the fucking tooth fairy."_

"_Where the hell are we?"_

"_I don't know"_

"_Owww, god my back."_

"_Where the hell are we?"_

…_.._

"_What it's the last thing you remember from last night?"_

"_Doing body shots with Tobias"_

"… _What? Where?"_

"_On the table. You were with… i don't remember where you were"_

"_Yeah? Neither do i. Fuck, Tris"_

"_Do you have your cellphone?"_

"_It's dead."_

…_.._

"_I don't have mine. Fuck! My dad is going to kill me."_

…_._

"_Well, we__better go."_

"_Go __**where**__ Christina? We don't know where we are. We could be in Florida for all i know"_

"_Well, you are not going to magically appear in your house seating here, will you? Come on! Maybe we'll find someone who will let us use a phone or something."_

"_Or tell us where we are"_

"_Or rape us, but luck shall say."_

"_Do i hit you know or later?"_

"_Later, save it up for another screw up"_

"_Okay, Christina."_

…_.._

"_That party rocked."_

"_I know. Happy fucking birthday Uriah."_

"_When we find him, I'm going to kiss him.__** If**__ we find him."_

"_OW! Tris!"_

"_You screwed up."_

* * *

><p><em>18 year old Tris<em>

"_And do you like the new room?"_

"_Yeah, i mean, it's nice having a bigger room. Did my Dad pay much for it?"_

"_I'm not going to answer that."_

"_Okay. Seems fair. Do you think i'm getting better?"_

"_Yes. You don't see your mom often, right?"_

…

"_Tris?"_

"… _No. She's gone. I don't even see her in my dreams now."_

"_Well, then there you go. That's a big step, Tris."_

"_I don't want to talk about this."_

"_Why not? Are you afraid? What are you afraid of, Tris?"_

"_I'm afraid I'll never see her again. That i won't be able to look into her eyes at least in my head, because i know she's never going to hug me again or even look at me again. Because she's dead. Because she's gone. She won't be here and i need my mom"_

…_._

"_Here. Grab a tissue."_

_Sniff. "i'm sorry. I don't cry that easily."_

"_It's okay to cry Tris. To cry it's to let your emotions go. So let them go."_

"_It would be easier if you put that Frozen song."_

"_You want that? I can get it for you. Play it in every session."_

"_God, no. I would rip my ears off"_

"_You know, it's weird that us, humans cry when we feel sad or frustrated or any emotion really. The purpose of the tears are to lubricate the eye. So they are the eye's personal cleaners. But they come freely every time that we are sad or happy and all emotions previously mentioned. __But it is good to cry Tris."_

"_Yeah, well, to me it's a sign of weakness. And i am not weak."_

"_Yes, you are right. You are not weak. But everybody needs to let the walls down sometimes, and you know? It's not so bad to let them down."_

"_I really like you, Tori. I hope these people never change you and give me another doctor."_

"_I wouldn't let that happen. You are one of my favorite patients, you know that?"_

"_Thanks. You are my favorite shrink."_

"_I'm the only one you ever had."_

"_I'm sorry to lie to you Tori, but i already had sex so you are not my first."_

"_Funny. Want to talk about him?"_

"_Not really."_

"_Why not? Let it go, remember?"_

"_Okay. I miss him. He-uh-he was really good with me."_

"_And are you guys broken up or what?"_

"_I don't know. We technically never broke up, but things weren't the same anymore. And i….."_

"_You slept with other people"_

"_Yes… oh my god i feel terrible. What if he doesn't want to even see me! It would break me. Well, i'm already broken but.."_

"_Every broken person has a bottle of glue somewhere. Yours happens to be the people around you. And yourself. You have to __**forgive**__ yourself in order to start healing and to heal the relations around you."_

"_My bottle it's almost empty"_

"_You can buy another one"_

"_I wish life was as easy as buying a bottle of glue. Tobias is never going to forgive me."_

"_Don't decide for him. He has a mind of his own."_

"_I wish i could call him. Or anyone."_

"_If you called him, you would hear his breathing and hang up, like those cliché movies."_

"_Yeah, i probably would."_

"_Hey, our session is over. Damn it, how the time flies when you are having fun."_

"_So, next session is, when."_

"_Uhm, next Thursday."_

"_So, for next Thursday i expect the Let it go song and a new box of tissues"_

"_Don't forget your bottle of glue."_

"_Of course. It's right next to my emotions bottle. I will bring that one as well."_

"_And don't forget to bring the walls down, okay?"_

* * *

><p><em>4 year old Tris<em>

"_Mommy what is that?"_

"_It's a bottle of perfume. Your daddy bought it for me. It's from another country."_

"_Oh. Does it smell pretty?"_

"_Yes. It smells like flowers."_

"_Where am i going?"_

"_To your friend Christina's house."_

"_Oh yeah! Why are you doing my hair then? It's just Chrissy's house, mommy."_

"_Well i wanted to brush your hair. It's a beautiful color. Just like mine. And just like Caleb's"_

"_Mommy when am i going to go with you to your sleepy room?"_

"_It's relaxing room, dear. And you can go anytime you like."_

"_But Jeanine said not to go when you are inside."_

"_Well, sometimes i need to relax. Because i become a dragon!"_

"_Hahaha, mommy! Stop!"_

"_But you don't have to fear me, flower. My beautiful, baby flower."_

"_I love you mommy."_

"_I love you too. __No matter what."_

* * *

><p><em>17 year old Tris<em>

_Everything was spinning. The ceiling was purple and someone was talking to me. __**Touching me. **_

"_Tris! Tris, wake up."_

"_Is she high?"_

"_Probably drunk."_

_I saw the world spinning and i sudenly was engulfed in apair of tree trunks. But they were soft. And warm. And smelled of coffee and musk. __**Mmmmmm i know who this is.**_

"_Tobias?" i heard myself say._

"_Yes baby it's me."_

"_Oh, god. She's alive people!" _

"_Stop screaming in my ear, Uriah."_

"_All of you shut up. Get out, I'm going to talk to her."_

"_Who named you the boss?... okay we are leaving."_

"_BYE TRIS!"_

"_URIAH STOP SCREAMING!"_

"_SHUT UP CHRISTI-"_

"_BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"_

_I heard silence and a door opening. _

"_Bye Tris." I heard Marlene whisper._

"_Call me if you need anything, brother."_

"_Yeah, thanks Zeke. I owe you one."_

"_You owe me tons. Shut up."_

_I try to look around me but all i see is a masive chest._

"_Hey?"_

"_Hey." I felt him say._

"_Where am i?"_

"_My __house. Well, in my apartment."_

"_What the fuck happened to me?"_

"_Well i was sleeping and i got a call from Zeke. Saying that a few friends of him saw you getting drunk at Bud's. Want to tell me what the fuck was that about?"_

_Shit, he was mad. I felt him lay me down on what i'm guessing is his bed. I try to look around but my head feels like it weights a ton so i try to focus on his face._

"_I don't know. I don't remember anything. I don't even remember going to Bud's."_

"_Yeah well, my guess is that you were already hammered when you got to Bud's. God Tris, you drove! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?"_

"_Yeah well I'm fine, aren't i?"_

_He laughed without humor and crossed his arms. He gave me this look that made my blood run cold and my panties drench._

"_You and i know that you are anything but fine."_

_Low blow. I turn my head towards the wall. I don't want to see his face. I know i'm anything but fine. But nobody needs to know that. I'm not weak._

"_I'm not weak. I can handle myself just fine!" i shout at him. I'm done. I try to stand up and walk out of here but the minute i give my first step my high heeled foot twist and i feel my world go down. I hear him laugh. Fucking bitch._

"_So you are fine? Come here, little girl." He grabs my arm and hauls me up. God i think i'm drunker than what i thought i was._

_He sits me on the bed and sits next to me._

"_Are we ever going to talk about it?"_

"_There's nothing to talk about, Tobias. Yes I'm drunk."_

_I lay back down on the bed and close my eyes. Maybe that way the ceiling won't talk to me._

"_Tris. You almost kill me." I hear him sigh "God, you are going to kill me one day." I bet he's running his hand on his face. He always does that when he's frustrated, his face wrinkles all together. I love it when he does that. I love it when he does anything. I love him._

"_If you are mad at me, why can't you just fuck me?"_

"_Because that's what you want. And you are grounded. I'm not giving into you."_

"_Are you sure?" i try to sound sexy but i feel y vocal cords not working and i explode into a coughing fit._

"_Go to bed, doll." I hear him laugh._

"_Come to bed with me."_

"_Yes?" he turns to look at me and i get lost in his eyes._

"_I'm horny."_

"_I can see that. But you are drunk."_

"_So what. I'll just do the same with you when you get drunk." I say, taking my pants of. But i can't really take them off with chunky boots at my feet and a cloudy mind. _

_I feel his hands join mine at my ankles and suddenly I'm pant-free. He runs his hands up my legs and my skin explodes in goose bumps. He takes my boots off and i give a little happy sigh when he climbs on the bed with me. _

"_Are you sure? You have been drinking, baby." _

"_Shut up." I say pressing my lips to his._

_I climb on top of him and feel his hands on my hips, gently kneading my skin. He's always so gentle with me._

"_I love you." He mumbles against my cheek._

"_I know."_

_(Time skip)_

_Later when we are laying on the sheets out of breath he takes me in his arms and i feel his deep breathing that tells me he's asleep._

"_I love you." I whisper in his chest._

_I know I'm fucked up. I don't want to sleep. The truth is that I'm scared. I took a nap this afternoon and i saw __**her. **__I was so freaked out that i took an entire bottle of whisky from my dad's office and drank the whole thing. __Then i guess i went to Bud's._

_I miss my mom. I try to look better for the sake of my friends but i can't pretend anymore. __I am not okay. _

_Without realizing i start crying and i watch my tears fall on his naked chest. I hug Tobias as hard as i can without waking him up._

"_I love you." Whisper again, pressing my damp face against his chest._

_**AN: **__**T**__**ada! I really liked writing this. I would really like to write a lemon for these two but i don't know how. I could try if you guys want. Also is the rating okay? I don't know a fuck about the ratings so tell me when i over pass the T. Hope inspiration hits me fast. **_


	6. Chapter 6

_I open my eyes and see the sky, the clear blue sky with a thousand of fluffy white clouds staring down at me._

_I stretch my arms wide and fist my fingers, and find myself grasping something soft, dry and crusty. I look down at my palms and see a fistful of dry leaves, crushed into tiny pieces by my hands._

_I look around and see trees and bushes obscuring my view._

_I was in a forest._

_I stand up and level my view with my arounds, but still, the only thing i see are trees. Thousands of them, blocking my view and path from whatever that is beyond them._

_I take a step forward and feel a sharp sting in my foot. I bend my leg upwards and take my injured limb between my hands, taking between my fingers a pine needle._

_I notice that I'm obviously barefoot and that, suddenly, i am also cold._

_I look down at myself and notice I'm wearing a white flimsy camisole that reaches a few inches before my knees and a few inches past my fingertips._

_I start to walk around, wincing every few seconds when i feel my feet catch a singing needle or a dry leave._

_What am i doing here? Is this what dead feels like? Am i dead?_

_**Thump.**_

_**Thump.**_

_What is that?_

_**Thump.**_

_The undoubtable sound of heavy footsteps echoes through the otherwise silent forest and i feel the sudden need to run._

_The sky is no longer blue and full of white clouds, but grey and full of black, angry clouds. _

_Run._

_Run! My mind screams._

_I run through the falling branches and duck between the tree trunks. I feel bile rising in my throat and a ringing in my ears that says run faster. Don't stop. Don't you stop._

_My lungs burn with the aching need of air but my mind keeps screaming at me to not stop. Never stop._

_I hear the heavy thumps getting closer and my heart hammering in my chest. I know I'm in danger. Of what, lord only knows._

_Suddenly everything stops._

_My feet stop obeying me and stay still, refusing to keep going._

_The thumping footsteps are no longer there._

_And my heartbeat is no longer threatening to make me deaf._

_I put my hand on my chest and feel my breathing, normal and deep. As if i was sleeping._

_As if i never ran for my life._

"_Beatrice."_

"_Beatrice."_

_Someone whispers and i swear it sounds like a scream in the silent forest._

"_Beatrice."_

"_Follow me, flower."_

_The voice is a sweet whisper, charming and inciting, like your best friend beckoning you to mischief. But this voice only sounds like a promising heaven, a relaxing time. No mischief._

_And i follow it._

_The voice keeps whispering sweet nothings in my ear._

_Suddenly my feet slip through dirt and i find myself reaching something to hold onto._

_My hand closes around a tree branch, full of green leaves, and i look down to see that i was about to fall into a cliff, down where i can only see more and more leaves, with tall trees adorning the view and the scent of flowers flowing in my nostrils._

_I take a step backwards and feel my hand pool with liquid and a sharp sting in my palm._

_I unclench it from the dead grip i had in the tree branch and see my hand flowing with blood._

_I look back to the tree branch and see it full of tiny needles, that pierced my skin._

_I see the crimson red falling like a river, down, down, down to the ground. And before it can splash on the forest floor something changes._

_I blink._

_Suddenly there are no more trees or bushes or cliffs, or anything really. The forest is covered in snow._

_The blood drips on the thick covered ground and tints the white with red._

_I part my lips and draw in what it feels like my first breath ever._

_The air tastes like cold._

_I don't think cold is a flavor but that is what the air tastes like._

_Also it tastes like blood._

_I run my tongue across my lip and find the unmistakable ting of metal. I must have bitten it when i was about to fall._

_I look down again and see that the cliff is no longer a cliff. It's an empty floor covered in snow. _

_I feel the snowflakes gathering in my loose hair and i open my mouth to take them in._

_It still tastes like cold, but i no longer mind. I like the taste._

_I see a figure walking towards me. It moves swiftly and slowly, confident and its glossy hair flowing freely in the snow-carrying wind._

_A woman._

_My mother, i see._

_She wears a dress similar to what i wear and i must say it suits her slow-walking self._

_She stands a few feet away from me and stretches her hand, her open palm and fingers beckon me._

"_it's time, flower." she says as she smiles at me._

_My mother._

_And she's smil__i__ng._

"_Mom?"_

_She smiles._

"_Where are we?"_

_Her fingers wiggle as to say 'come'._

_It's time?_

"_For what, mother?"_

"_It's time, flower." She repeats._

_She smiles at me and i feel so happy._

_So happy. My mom, smiling and she's here. She's here._

_I wrap my fingers around hers and stand next to her._

_She smiles and raises her hand to caress my cheek._

"_My beautiful, baby flower."_

_I put my hand on top of hers and smile, so big my face hurts. She's here._

_Then her smile seems to fade, getting smaller by the second until she's serious. As if she's thinking something or having a mental conversation with somebody._

_Then her smile somes back, but this time it has a sad look in it._

"_Fight." She says._

"_What?"_

"_Fight."_

_What does she mean? Fight? For what?_

"_Mother? I don't understand."_

"_I was so sure. You don't belong here yet, dear Tris. Fight."_

_I don't belong here?_

"_Mom?"_

_She starts to walk backwards, her hand never leaving my cheek._

"_Mother? Mom?" i say desperately, trying to hold onto her hand but my arms feel heavy, like they were made of stone, and i cannot lift them._

"_My beautiful, baby fower." _

_Her had no loner holding mine falls back beside her and she is still walking backwards._

"_Mother?!" i scream. Or whisper? Everything is so quiet._

"_This is not the last time we will see each other. I promise you i will come back for you. But it's not your time yet. Fight, flower." She never stops smiling._

_And then she's just a shadow, a figure walking back to her path across the snow. Just like when i first spotted her._

"_MO__MMY__? MOM? Tell me what to do! Please don't leave me! MOTHER!" i scream._

"_This is not the last time we will see each other." Her voice says. But i can no longer see her._

_I run towards the sound of her voice but i can't see anything._

_I run and run but it's like i never moved, everything is the same._

"_TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"_

_I cry, i feel the cold tears running down my face, but i don't have the strength to do anything but fall. I sit on the snow and cry._

"_Tell me what to do." __I whisper to myself._

_I feel her feather touch still lingering on my cheek._

_I'm imagining things, like always._

_Then the feel of it grows stronger._

_Like she was putting pressure on it._

_Like she was really here._

_Like she was putting her hand against my cheek again._

"_Beatrice."_

_Like she was whispering my name._

"_Beatrice."_

_Like she was here with me._

"_Beatrice."_

_Like she was alive._

"_Beatrice."_

"_Tell me what to do."_

"_Open your eyes, Beatrice."_

_Come back, you said you would._

"_Beatrice, wake up."_

_Please don't leave me again mommy._

"_She's waking up."_

_I love you._

"_Is it time, mother?"_

"…_. It's not your time, yet. Beatrice, open your eyes."_

_I open my eyes and find myself blinded by a white light. I blink enough to make a face appear._

_Her long black hair falls in perfect waves around her slender face._

"_I'm Tori. Doctor Tori Wu. It's going to be okay, Beatrice. You are going to be okay."_

"_Please call me Tris."_

_She smiles at me and i find her comforting, i like her._

_But she's not my mom and i want to be with her._

"_My mom.." i croak out._

_Her smile wavers but she smiles again._

"_It will be okay, Tris. __Everything's gonna be fine."_

* * *

><p>I wake up with a start.<p>

"That one, again." I mumble to myself.

Sometimes i have nightmares, but sometimes, like this one, i have memories. The one i dreamed of last night was the first time i woke up at the clinic.

I untangle myself from the covers and go to my bathroom to get rid of that disgusting taste in my mouth.

I brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror. I don't have bags under my eyes anymore, my hair is clean and glossy, not like a few months ago when i cringed every time i passed my fingers through it.

I finish my thing and go to my vanity where my phone is charging. I push the home button and cringe when the screen lights up. I blink and see the time. _6:38_

Damn, what am i going to do now?

I decide to send a wake up text to Christina, just to annoy the hell out of her. But knowing her she probably won't hear it and she will see it when she's awake, around 10 o'clock.

I decide to leave her alone and put my phone on the night stand, and go back to bed.

I sink into the warm covers and bury myself in them. The last thing i remember when i fall asleep is my background picture.

Of me and the gang.

Of me and my family.

* * *

><p>I wake up with a start, actually i wake up with a shake.<p>

Someone is shaking me.

"Wake up, bitch."

"Shut up." I mumble into my pillow. My bed is too warm to get out.

I feel the cold air on my bare legs and i assume she lifted the covers of me.

"Get up loser we're going shopping." Someone says and then i feel the sting of a slap on my thigh.

"Ow, you idiot!" so i get up with a start.

And find myself face to face with Lynn.

"Told you she would look like a gold fish." Christina says in the background.

"Yeah, yeah." Lynn says in a bored tone.

"Lynn!" i exclaim. I never felt so happy to see this grinch. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tight.

"OW! Get off me!" she screams like i burned her. She pushes me and i fall back on my bed.

"Hey! Be nice."

Then i see that Marlene and Shauna are here too.

"Hey, Tris." Marlene says, smiling at what i suppose is my surprised gold fish face.

She helps me up and gives me a giant bear hug. She smells like roses and kiwi shampoo.

I look over her shoulder to see Shauna quietly standing against my bedroom door, with her arms crossed against her chest and her face guarded.

She notices me looking and openly stares at me.

Marlene notices that i lost interest in the hug and steps back, noticing that Shauna and i seem to be in a staring contest.

"Shauna is just a bit freaked out, you know, because you came here so fast. No one knew when you were getting back-"

"Yeah, because you never bothered to talk to us. Even before you went to shrink juvie." Shauna said rudely. Well i figured someone would be bothered.

"Shauna.. i-"

"Save it. I don't care, but i want you to know that you hurt me. You hurt us, Tris. That's not what friends do." She said, her voice cracking a little.

"Girls, we-"

"No. It's fine, Marlene. I know i hurt you guys. I know that what i did broke you, but i want you to know that i didn't do it on purpose. I was out of it, okay? I would never hurt you intentionally, because you mean the world to me. I love you guys. And if i could take back all those things i did i would do it in a heartbeat." I was crying, and i probably look awful but i don't care. These words are what i wanted to tell them since the moment i woke up at the clinic. I yearned for them.

"And I'm sorry. I am so sorry that i hurt you. You don't deserve that. I'm sorry that i was so deep into my shit that i couldn't see i was hurting everyone around me. I'm sorry i wasn't here for you when you thought you were having a baby Shauna. I'm sorry i wasn't there to hug you and comfort you when Uriah screwed up, Marlene. I'm sorry i wasn't here for you when you came out to your mom, Lynn. I'm sorry that i wasn't here when your parents got divorced Chris. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for leaving you guys. I'm so sorry."

We were all ugly crying at this moment, except Lynn of course.

"I'm sorry you felt like you didn't have anyone to talk to, honey." Marlene said.

"I'm sorry i didn't notice you were falling apart at the beginning of your wreck." Said Christina.

"I'm sorry for all you, crying at 11 am." Lynn said with an eye roll.

"I'm… not sorry. For everything i said to you. You deserve my cold shoulder." Shauna said wiping her tears away.

Christina gasped, Marlene started crying harder and Lynn looked surprised to hear those words come out of her sister's mouth. I felt numb.

"Shauna, i un-"

"I'm not sorry for the things i said. But i forgive you. Because i love you. And if you hurt i hurt too. I understand."

I went to her and she met me half way, wrapping her arms around me. I felt so relieved, she didn't hate me.

"I'm sorry, toots." She whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I cried quietly against her shoulder.

She kissed my head and untangled herself from me. The she proceeded to hold me at arm's length and inspect me.

"You look good." She sniffled.

I laughed and then we were engulfed in a giant group hug.

"Yay! The plastics are back!" Marlene squealed.

"Okay, physical contact is breaking my bones. Let me go!" Lynn screamed.

**AN: Okay, so I'm totally obsessed with The Mortal Instruments and that's why I'm having trouble concentrating in writing. ****I can't get Clace off my head. Blame them.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviews and Follows/Favorites this story. Love you.**

**Question: why do authors put disclaimer? I mean, what is the purpose of the disclaimer.**

**Also if anyone knows a good Clace fic please let me know. **

**Also, I'm starting school on Monday so, let's see how long it takes me to update.**

**Review my loves! **


	7. Of Uriah and Dauntless Cake

**AN: Heyyyy! I've been thinking about this chapter for ages, i didn't know what to write but i had a little epiphany and now I'm back. I know what to do with this story now, i know everything that's going to happen *insert maniac author character-killing laugh here*.**

**Also i want to explain myself right now, in case it takes me a long time to write the next chapter:**

**My grandma's mom, Alicia, is my second grand mommy (My dad's family side is shit) and she's very sick. She has been sick for a long time now, most of her arteries were blocked and her blood pressure was really low, but with medication she was above fine. Yesterday we received the bad news, she went to her normal doctor's appointment and got checked up, and the doctor found all her arteries blocked with barely enough blood pumping through her body. He said to prepare ourselves for her to pass away, and to give her everything she wants to eat and to take her everywhere she wants to go. So obviously my entire family is really depressed and sad, but we try not to show it because of her, we got to be strong for her.**

**So if i don't update in this few weeks you all know why.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviews/favorites/follows this story. Kisses and a piece of dauntless cake for everyone.**

* * *

><p>After i took a shower and got rid of the achy feel my nightmare left on me, i got dressed and the girls tooke me to Marlene's house.<p>

She lived in a fancy residence, with a huge forest in the back, a stable and a mini golf court for her golf loving father.

We entered her house and i glanced at every corner i had the chance to see, checking what had changed. A vase on a table at the entrance, a new chandelier, and as i had a glimpse of the living room i saw a new wallpaper. Nothing new, they were always 'renovating' themselves.

We went into her bedroom and i plopped down on the fluffy bed.

"Ahh, home sweet home." Christina said, throwing herself at me, on the bed.

"Contrary of what you believe, Christina, you are not as light as a feather." I grunted, throwing her off of me.

"What are you talking about, i weight as much as a baby." She said, snuggling in the covers.

"Yeah, a baby horse, maybe." Said a laughing Lynn.

"Mean."

"So, you know what's coming soon, right Tris?" said Marlene after a bit of silence.

"Uriah and Zeke Pedrad's famous Halloween party? How can i forget?"

"Well, you have missed two already."

"Yeah, i didn't feel like going. Or maybe i wasn't here to go. Yeah, that was it." I said sarcastically

"Right. But are you going this year?"

"Well, i haven't been invited yet."

"Uriah hasn't invited you yet?" said Shauna with a shocked expression

"Yeah, why? Did he invited you guys already?"

"Uh, yeah." Christina exchanged looks with the girls. "He invited us like, three days ago."

I am certain that i was here for more than three days ago, so either my invitation got lost in the mail or he didn't invite me. Which i am more than sure that was the latter because he doesn't send them, he personally gives them to you. Which makes me believe that he doesn't want to face me. Little bitch.

"Maybe he's saving you for last." Marlene said hopefully.

"I wish, but you know that's not the case." I said a bit sadly

"Maybe he doesn't want you around or he's a bit scared?" Shauna said airily.

"Because, you now you are a pain in the ass."

"Thanks Lynn."

"You're welcome, baby."

"Have you seen Tobias yet?" Marlene asked, changing the awkward topic.

"Erm-"

"Oh my god. You are blushing." Interrupted Christina. "You totally saw him. What did you do? Did you have make up sex?"

"Christina! Jesus, what is it to you? No, we didn't have sex-"

"Even though you miss it, right? I know you miss the sex. Locked up there, sexless. Tobiasless." Stated Christina

"We didn't have sex. He just came to see me, he said he heard from a little bird-" i threw a pointed look at Christina there, "That i was back and he wanted to check."

"And why are you a blushing virgin then? There's something more.." Marlene said knowingly.

"I couldn't help myself and kissed the corner of his mouth. You know how it is, he flirted with me and i can't resist him, so.." i trailed off.

"Oh, you poor thing. Does the big scary Four does things to you? Do you feel a thing in your heart every time he speaks to you?" Marlene mocked me.

"Does he makes your tummy do flips?" Shauna continued.

"Does he makes your clit ting?" Said Lynn laughing.

"Yes he does." Said Christina.

"Yes he does. I still got it bad for him." I admitted.

"He gives you the hots."

"He makes you feel butterflies." Squealed Christina, throwing her arms around me and hugging me tight to the bed.

"Awwww" said Marlene

"I know you miss the sex too." Christina whispered in my ear.

"Christina." I laughed.

"She's serious, you know? You need to have a welcome fuck. God knows you have dust down there." Said Lynn.

"Are you going to do the fucking? Because i don't want anyone but you Lynn."

"I don't want anyone but you either, but i will share you with Four."

"Thanks."

"Do we need to go lingerie shopping?"

"No, i have enough. Besides, you guys don't even know if he's going to bang me. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't."

"We all know, Tris darling, that he has the biggest kind of hots for you." stated Marlene.

"I shouldn't be saying this to you, but Zeke told me that a few months ago, he and Tobias got drunk and they played Truth or Dare, and Tobias slipped that you were always in his mind. And that you made his balls tighten. But you didn't hear this from me; I'm breaking the girlfriend code for the girl code." Shauna said.

"Eeek, you guys are my OTP." Christina squealed, once again, and crushed one or two of my ribs.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he wants to get back with me. I hurt him. Ow! Release me, anaconda."

"Sorry, but he still loves you, hun. I know in my shipper heart that he does."

"Yeah, he was devastated when you left, but he will get over it."

"You guys don't understand, i cheated on him, i lied, i ignored him. He has the right to hate me."

"But he doesn't. And he won't, Tobias can't hate you. You have done bad things, but you weren't conscious of them, and he understands that. He loves you, get that through your thick skull."

"I'm not a saint, but i love him. God i love him so much." I sniffled.

"He loves you too, Tris." Marlene said, caressing my arm.

"I'm going to get him back. I swear. I'll do anything to get him back."

"Yeahhh! That's the attitude. The plastic attitude. Get him back and ride him to oblivion."

"I'm not riding anything until i get him back."

"Invite him to Uriah's party."

"First you have to _be _invited to Uriah's party."

"ohh, Lynn's right. You are not invited yet."

Right, my invitation. That's my golden ticket, i have to make Uriah invite me to his party.

"I have to go." I said, jumping from the bed.

"Wait, we were supposed to hang out!" protested Christina.

"I have to get my man back!" i said slipping through Marlene's bedroom door.

"Do your thing! Call us when you succeed!" screamed Shauna.

I exited Marlene's house and started descending the steps when i realised that i didn't have a car. I had catched a ride with the girls.

I grabbed my phone form my pocket and dialed Christina's number.

…

"Yeah? Did you forgot something?"

"Yes, i don't have a car."

"Ooh! How do you plan on getting- wait, where are you going?"

"You know what? Tell Marlene I'm taking her car. And could you text me Uriah's number?" i said running inside the house and grabbing the car keys that Marlene had thrown on the table.

"Uhh, sure. She's taking your car."

I hanged up before i could here Marlene's response.

I opened the car and got in. i reversed towards the driveway just in time to see Marlene's head pop out of the window.

"You bitch! Wait until my father hears about this!" she screamed at me.

I laughed and flipped her off with my finger while i exited her residence.

I felt my but vibrate and toke my cellphone out, while driving.

_778 384 2253._

_Marlene's pissed. You better run, Beatrice._

_Xo, C._

* * *

><p><em>To: 778 384 2253<em>

_I need to talk to you, come to my house._

_I'll be wating._

_/_

_From: Uriah_

_Who's this? And how the hell did you get my number?_

_/_

_To: Uriah_

_It's your mom, __sugar._

_/_

_To: Uriah_

_I'm kidding._

_Who else had this number? You knew it by heart, you pansycake._

_/_

_From: Uriah_

_Tris?_

_/_

_To: Uriah_

_Yes._

_/_

_..._

_/_

_To: Uriah_

_Are you scared of me or what?_

_/_

_From: Uriah_

_I'm not scared of anything._

_Much less of little girls._

_/_

_To: Pussyface_

_Well, i want to talk to you._

_Come to my house._

_/_

_From: Pussyface_

_Don't tell me what to do!_

_AND CHANGE MY NAME!_

_/_

_To: Pussyface_

_I'll be waiting._

_/_

_To: Uriah_

_Pussyface._

* * *

><p>i sat on the kitchen counter, eating a piece of dauntless cake while playing Quiz Up in my phone. I heard the doorbell ring and got up to get it, i opened the door and saw a swirl of red passing me to stand a good 5 feet away from me.<p>

"Hey to you too." I said closing the door.

"Where do we talk?" he said looking at the inside of the house.

"Uh, kitchen."

We walked towards the kitchen and he sat on the chair i previously had been sitting on while i opened the fridge.

"Want anything to drink?"

"No i'm go- IS THAT DAUNTLESS CAKE?" he said perking up inmediadlty

"Yes, you want some?"

"Uh, duh. Of course i want some. I want much of it. Actually just get the whole thing out."

I laughed silently to myself while i sat the cake in the table and sat in front of him.

He got up and opened the first drawer beside the fridge and got a fork out. Trust Uriah to act like he's home. He tooke an unhealthy chunk of cake and shoved it in his mouth.

"Are you good?" i asked amused.

"Could you get me a glass of milk?" he asked, chewing on the enormous amount of cake in his mouth.

"Okay." I said laughing freely.

He shot me a cheeky smile while i grabbed a glass and filled it with milk.

"Thanks." He said swallowing.

He shoved another forkful of cake in and openly stared at me, nodding his head occasionally.

"Quit staring at me."

"You look good." He said nodding, while having trouble speaking because of the cake.

"Thanks. You too. You going to the gym?" i said flexing my arm referring to his muscled one.

"Yeah, bigger branches have more birds."

"You only have one bird and her name is Marlene."

"There's more fishes on the sea, you never know." He said downing half of the milk.

I shot him a pointed look and he laughed around the glass.

"I'm kidding, you muggle."

"Yeah, i've heard some things. You weren't kidding back there were you?"

His face darkened a little, and then he lowered his eyes to my wrist. I tucked it against my side on instict.

"You weren't kidding back there either were you?"

"I'm better; I'm fine, Uri. But I'm not kidding, why did you- you know?"

"I was drunk, Tris. That girl threw herself at me and i- i don't know. We kissed but then Marlene found me and dragged me out of there. I'm glad she did, i don't know where things might have gone if she didn't get me out of there. She was hurt for a while but we got over it. They were dark times Tris. You weren't there." He said

"I know i wasn't there for you. That's why you are here, to talk. And to get everything out of your chest. And mine. Like old times."

"I'm going to need more of this if we are going through the emotions path." He said referring to his almost empty glass of milk. He downed the last drops and slammed the glass on the counter.

"MORE!" he yelled.

"Uriah! You're going to break the glass." I grabbed the said thing from his hand and refilled it with milk.

"I am Thor of Asgard, and i shall be treated with respect." He said grabbing the glass from my hands.

"Shut up." I said, filling one for myself.

"AHHH." He sighed happily after a big gulp of milk.

"You have a milk mustache." I laughed after gulping a sip of my milk.

"You too. We look hot." He said

"So, how do you feel, with me being back and all?"

"Well, i feel happy, because you keep me feeded and fat-"

"Uriah!" i laughed. "Be serious."

"Okay." He laughed. "I feel really happy for you. You seem fine, you say you feel fine and i believe you are fine. I missed you really bad so i'm really happy you are back." He finished smiling.

"I'm happy to be back too."

"I know you think i was avoiding you but i wasn't sure if you wanted to see me. Us, all of us. Because you weren't really speaking to us back then."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't think i said that to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry i ignored you. I was falling apart and my own hatred didn't let me see you guys trying to help me. "

"I tried so hard to help you. I put songs in your iPod trying to cheer you up. I let you notes on your mirror."

"I know. I appreciate it now, but back then i wasn't okay. So i thank you now for all of those little things you did. You put effort in those and i didn't care. I'm sorry." I was starting to tear up inside, i could feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"I'm sorry too. For all the shit you went through. You didn't deserve it."

The tears started falling down my cheeks and he got up and hugged me tight.

"You deserved a normal mom. Like everybody else. But that wasn't your destiny, your mom made you be strong. You had to be mature since you were a little girl. You are the bravest, dear." He comforted me

"I didn't deserve it." I cried against his chest.

"No you didn't. You didn't. But you overcame it. You learned from it. And now, look at you. "he separated from me and tooke my face in his hands. "You are a beautiful young girl that had a really rough time but she recovered and now, she's ready to take life from the bull's horns."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying goes." I laughed

"Whatever, you get what i mean. Listen to the wise words of the son of Hana, oh short one."

I laughed and hid my face in his chest. He kissed my hair and hugged me back.

"I love you, but this shirt is new and you and your mascara stained tears are ruining it."

"You are such a dick." I laughed, slapping his chest

"I'm proud of you, toots." He said wiping my cheeks

"Thanks, tootie."

"OHH, here." He untangled himself from me and reached one hand inside his jeans.

"What are you doing Uriah?"

"I was waiting for you to give me the white flag."

He toke an envelope and put in my hands.

"You are cordially invited to the best fucking party of the year. Wear a costume."

"I was going to ask you about this later, but now i got my answer. Thanks."

"I'm going to get the most amazing costume ever."

"A cupcake?"

"A dauntless cake costume would be better. But no, baby. It's going to ROCK!" he shouted in my face

Speaking of which i looked at the plate and saw it was empty.

"Seriously? That was my welcome treat."

"Jeanine can make you another one. That's her job, make you dauntless cake every single day."

"That's not what she gets paid for."

"Your dad pays her his dick for making sure you don't blow this house up."

"Shhh, Uriah! You swore you wouldn't say it out loud."

"Your dad pays her his dick for making sure you don't blow this house up." He whispered in my ear.

"That's not what i meant."

"She won't be hearing us anytime soon. We should sneak into that room of yours."

"Uriah!"

"Let's get physical."

"Uri! Stop!"

"You should dress as Olivia Newton-John for my party."

"Only if you were spandex."

"Obviously, what other kind of costume would i ever wear. Those shows how big your dick is."

"Uriah.."

"I have no problem using spandex, i'll let you know."

"I don't want to know about your dick."

"Yes you do. Yes you do."

**AN: I'll be rally happy if someone notices the Draco Malfoy sentence in this chapter. Shoutout to the person who does. This chapter was pure Uriah, i don't consider myself funny so let's see how he turns out. ****Also, in this story he's kinda Tris' male bestfriend.**

**Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! ****Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review!**


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